YuGiOh! Da Parodeh!
by CrazyRabidPony
Summary: Muahahahahahahaha! Yes! It's back after a few years! My parodization of the first season!
1. Bladder of the Cards

Pony: Woot! It's back! Mah parody is back!

Disclaimer Dude: Drat! ... Pony doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh!.

Pony: There are obviously a ton of parodies, so any similarities are entirely coincidental.

Warning: This parody contains torturing of characters and extreme randomness! We are not responsible for uncontrollable bouts of laughter that may be followed by swollen and/or ruptured abdomen and hyperactive insanity! Read at your own risk!

_**Chapter One: Bladder... Heart of the Cards**_

Ah, Domino High... the perfect haven where normal teenagers build character and social skills they need in order to go out in the world and become successful adults. Individuals with low self-esteem were being teased, atomic wedgies were being given, heads were shoved into toilets and given swirlies while the faculty stood by and let it happen because they believed the aforementioned tortured souls didn't matter anyway; but someday, the emotionally and mentally scarred will show them all! Muahahahahahaha!... Yes, it was a beautiful day in this wondrous haven. In one particular room, a group of boys and girls who don't matter in this story were congregated around a group of three students.

"Four!" a boy with a pointy hairdo shouted.

Right... four students... sorry, Tristan. Anyway, two of these FOUR students were in a Duel Monsters match.

"I summon Friendship Guardian in friendship mode and I equip it with Ring of Friendship!" Tea, a spunky brunette girl, cried out in triumph as she once again defeated Joey, a short-tempered blonde boy, in a Duel Monsters match.

"Butta'finga's!" Joey yelled in defeat. He angrily gathered up his cards one by one and ate them.

"Don't friendship, Joey. Every time you friendship, you get friendship."

"Moo?" With half of a Duel Monsters card hanging from his mouth, Joey turned to Yugi, a short boy with tri-colored spiky hair, for a translation to what Tea just said.

"Tea said, 'Don't worry, Joey. Every time you duel, you get better'."

"I haven't seen any improvement," blurted Tristan, the aforementioned pointy-haired tall guy many people forget about. He groaned unhappily at the previous sentence.

"Cockatoo!" Joey leapt at Tristan, bit his leg, and snarled like a rabid dog.

"No, Joey! Tristan friendship!" Tea nagged.

Joey released Tristan's leg, crouched to the floor in submission, and whimpered.

"Good boy, Joey," Yugi smiled and patted the blonde's head.

Joey happily jumped upon Yugi, who giggled as the species-confused teen licked his face.

"Down, boy!" Yugi giggled, "I have an idea! My grandpa has a totally super-sweet card. Let's ditch class and ask him if he'll show it to us!"

Yugi and his friends locked arms and skipped merrily out of the school, trampling anyone in their way. The song "We're off to see the Wizard" from "The Wizard of Oz" played somewhere in the background as they bounded off to the Kame Game Store.

xxxx

In the store, Yugi's grandpa Solomon, had a Kiss c.d. playing. The old man was dressed up like a member of the band and jamming on his electric guitar. When he saw Yugi and his friends skipping toward, his store, he put his guitar away, dressed in his normal attire, washed the makeup off his face, and went behind the counter right before the gang entered the store.

"Hello, kids," Solomon greeted in a almost-too-casual tone, "Back so soon?"

"Hi, Grandpa," Yugi returned the greeting in an almost-too-cheerful tone, "We ditched so we can... is that rock music?"

Solomon realized he had forgotten to turn off his c.d. player even though the volume was cranked up to maximum which gave away to the readers of this parody that he obviously has a hearing problem. The short old man picked up his trusty brick and hurled it at the c.d. player, smashing it.

"I don't hear anything, Yugi. You obviously have a hearing problem. I'll make an appointment for the doctor."

"Yay! Lollipops!" Yugi cried happily.

"Friendship," said Tea.

"Oh, yeah! Grandpa, about your super-sweet card?"

"Yeees?" said Solomon as he got out his Blue-Eyes White Dragon.

"Can we see it?" Tristan asked.

"NEVER! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Solomon curled up into a fetal position in a random corner of the store, clutching his Blue-Eyes White Dragon protectively.

"What's friendship with Mr. Friendship?"

"Bunneh ears!" Joey gasped at the person who entered the store, who was none other than the multi-millionaire owner of the largest gaming company in the world, Seto Kaiba.

"WAZZAAAAAP!" exclaimed Seto Kaiba and he turned to Solomon rocking back-and-forth in the corner, "Yo, old dude! I want your Blue-Eyes White Dragon!"

"NEVER! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Grandpa will never give up his Blue-Eyes White Dragon, Kaiba!" Yugi cried out in a heroic manner. It didn't have any effect due to the fact that he was only four feet tall, "It was given to him by an old friend, the famous monkey midget! Right, Grandpa?"

Solomon hissed like an angry cat.

"I'll give you this giant cookie," said Kaiba, pulling out a chocolate chip cookie the size of a pizza pan out of his briefcase.

"Deal!" Solomon handed Kaiba his Blue-Eyes White Dragon card in exchange for the large cookie.

"VICTORY IS MINE!" Kaiba cried out in victory. With the card in hand, he dashed out the door giggling like a little school girl.

"Oh no!" Yugi exclaimed, "Kaiba's got Grandpa's card!"

"Cookie!" Solomon squealed in delight.

"Don't worry, Grandpa, we'll get your card back!" Yugi exclaimed, "Let's go, guys!"

"Friendship!"

"Kitten tires!"

"Yeah!"

As the gang set out on their quest to get Solomon's Blue-Eyes White Dragon back, Solomon was rolling on the floor and singing to his cookie.

"I love my cookie... I love my cookie... My pretty cookie... Oh, my wonderful cookie... I love my cookie... And my cookie loves meeee..."

xxxx

Our heroes arrived at the front of Kaiba Corporations. Yugi knocked on the door and a man in a fuzzy, green outfit answered.

"Excuse us, sir, we need to talk to Seto Kaiba. Can you take us to him?" Yugi asked.

"Nobody can see the Seto Kaiba! Nobody! Not! No how!" the man in the fuzzy, green outfit shouted.

Tristan confronted the man in a huff, "Take us to Seto Kaiba, you green mammal with fuzz, or I'll turn all your white laundry pink!"

The man recoiled in fear at Tristan's threat and squeaked, "This way, please."

The man in the fuzzy, green outfit escorted the group into a dueling stadium and went on his merry way. Eventually, Kaiba appeared in sight and the gang gasped in horror at what he was wearing. Kaiba was wearing a pink, frilly dress with a matching purse and sparkling, red shoes.

"Kaiba! I've come for my grandpa's Blue-Eyes White Dragon!"

"Sorry, Yugi. I fed it to Mokuba."

"So we came all the way across the galaxy for nothing?" asked Tristan.

"Ham radio eagles, Tristan! Dumb cactus blanket!" Joey yelled at the pointy-haired teenager.

"Joey's right, Tristan. We only traveled a few miles."

"No wonder why I bombed the test on units of measure."

"Friendship!" Tea cried out as she gazed at the shoes on Kaiba's feet, "Kaiba is friendshipping my new friendships!"

"Kaiba is wearing your new shoes?" Yugi asked.

"Friendship," Tea nodded.

"Is that your dress too that Kaiba is wearing?"

"Friendship," Tea shook her head.

"Kaiba, give Tea back her shoes!" Yugi demanded.

"NEVER! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Why did you steal Tea's shoes?"

"Because they're shiny!" Kaiba chirped cheerfully.

"Where did you get that dress and matching purse?"

"I stole them from Pegasus."

"Why?"

"Because I think they make me look pretty."

Yugi and Kaiba agreed that the winner of the duel gets the shoes.

"Let's duel!" Yugi and Kaiba cried in unison.

After Yugi drew his hand, he switched places with Yami. As soon as Yami appeared, his fangirls popped out of nowhere and cheered wildly.

"Go, Yugi! Friendship!" cheered Tea who was now in a cheerleader outfit.

"Shut up, Tea! Your pointless cheering will make me lose my focus!" Yami snapped harshly, making Tea cry.

_"Yami! That's not nice! She's only trying to help!"_ said Yugi in Tea's defense.

_"Silence, Yugi!"_ yelled the spirit, _"Or I'll make you listen to audio tapes of Pegasus singing in the shower!"_

_"NOOOOOO!!"_ cried Yugi as he fell to his knees, _"Please! Anything but that!"_

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Yami laughed evilly.

"Turkey toasta' oven Yugi?" Joey asked.

"Yeah," Tristan replied, "What's up with Yugi?"

"I don't friendship," Tea shrugged.

"I set two cards face-down!" Yami exclaimed, "I also set one monster face-down in defense position!"

"I summon Giant Bologna Sandwich in attack mode!" Kaiba cried proudly.

GBS:ATK/1500,DEF/900

"And I equip it with Jar of Mayo! Giant Bologna Sandwich, attack Yugi's face-down monster!"

GBS:ATK/2000,DEF/1400

Kaiba's Giant Bologna Sandwich sliced Yami's monster to shreds. Kaiba squealed like a giddy little girl and began break dancing.

Yami just crossed his arms and smiled, "When you destroyed my monster, you activated its special ability."

"Special ability?" Kaiba gasped.

Suddenly, the monster that was destroyed reappeared onto the field.

"Behold! The monster you destroyed! Blueberry Rabid Muffin!"

BRM:ATK/500,DEF/500

"Ha!" Kaiba 'ha'ed, "Your monster is defenseless against the awesome might of my Giant Bologna Sandwich! Teeheeheehee!" giggled Kaiba and he happily glomped his purse.

Then, more Rabid Muffins appeared.

"NO! I'M GOING INSANE!" Kaiba cried and he collapsed onto the floor and sucked his thumb.

"Don't be so sure," said Yami, "Rabid Muffins' special ability allows me to automatically special summon all Rabid Muffins from my deck and graveyard. Meet Poppy Seed Rabid Muffin, Chocolate Chip Rabid Muffin, and Banana Nut Rabid Muffin!"

"Oh," Kaiba sighed in relief and scrambled to his feet.

"My tuuuurn!" Yami said in singsong. He drew his card and laughed like a maniac.

"Looks like Yugi drew his card," Tristan smiled.

"Hopscotch, Yugi!" Joey cheered.

"Friendship, Yugi!" cheered... you know who.

"I use a magic card called Muffin Power-Up! It raises each Rabid Muffins' attack by 500!"

"Muffinmuffinmuffin!" The Rabid Muffins squeaked joyfully.

BRM:ATK/1000,DEF/500

PSRM:ATK/1000,DEF/500

CCRM:ATK/1000,DEF/500

BNRM:ATK/1000,DEF/500

"But wait!" Yami said like a salesman, "There's more! I use Muffin Wrap! It turns my Rabid Muffins into one super muffin!"

Blueberry Rabid Muffin, Poppy Seed Rabid Muffin, Chocolate Chip Rabid Muffin, and Banana Nut Rabid Muffin hopped into a giant muffin wrapper that appeared onto the field. It closed up after the final muffin entered. After a moment had passed, a huge muffin emerged. It was Muffy the Rabid Muffin King.

MRMK:ATK/?,DEF/?

"Whether it's two or even one Rabid Muffin, Muffin Wrap turns any number of Rabid Muffins into Muffy the Rabid Muffin King!"

"What about it's attack and defense?" Kaiba asked.

"For each Rabid Muffin that jumped into the giant muffin wrapper, their total attack and defense add up to make Muffy the Rabid Muffin King's attack and defense points."

MRMK:ATK/4000,DEF/2000

"NOOOO!!" Kaiba cried in despair.

"YEEESS!!" Yami cried evilly, "Muffy the Rabid Muffin King, attack Giant Bologna Sandwich and wipe out his life points!"

"NO!" cried Kaiba.

"YES! Mouth Foam Torrent!"

Kaiba's Giant Bologna Sandwich disappeared within the foam that sprayed from Yami's rabid monster. The difference wiped out all 2000 of Kaiba's life points.

"I win the duel!" Yami declared and he switched with Yugi, "Now hand over Tea's shoes!"

"No!" Kaiba retorted and tapped his heels three times, "There's no place like home... There's no place like home... There's no place like home..." He threw a small ball to the floor and it exploded into a thick cloud of black smoke. When the smoke cleared, Kaiba was still standing in the same spot.

"I'm home! In yo' face, Yugi!" Kaiba shouted victoriously.

"Uh... Kaiba?"

"Oh, yeah. I already was home."

"Give back the shoes!"

"Friendship!" yelled an angry Tea.

Yugi turned back into Yami and the security guards were struggling to keep the rabid fangirls back.

"Feel the wrath of Joey's old gym sock that has never been washed!" exclaimed Yami who was now wearing a gas mask.

We see a close-up of Joeys old gym sock. It was moldy, covered in sweat and fungus from athlete's foot, and flies were buzzing around it. The "Psycho" theme music was playing in the background and the high-pitch scream of terror of a woman was heard.

When we back up, we see that everyone-excluding Kaiba-was wearing a clothespin on their nose. Joey was holding a record player that was playing the "Psycho" theme music and Tristan was screaming the woman's high-pitched scream of terror.

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Yami laughed evilly and tossed Joey's old gym sock at the millionaire's face.

"AHHHHH!! AHHHHH!!" Kaiba screamed in a high voice, "MY EYES!! MY EYES!!"

"Now, Kaiba, will you give up the shoes?" Yami asked with a devilish smirk.

"IT BURNS!!" Kaiba screeched in pain.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," Yami walked over to Kaiba who fell to the floor screaming bloody murder due to the sock that was still on his face. He took the shoes off his rival's feet and handed them to Tea as he changed back into Yugi.

"My new friendships!" Tea happily received the shoes and slipped them on her hands, "Thank friendship, Yugi."

"You're welcome, Tea."

Now for having Kaiba crying on the floor with a smelly sock on his face, Yugi and his friends locked arms and skipped merrily home.


	2. Raise the Glove Thingy

Pony: Disclaim away, Disclaimer Dude!

Disclaimer Dude: Pony doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

_**Chapter Two: Raise the Glove Thingy!**_

"Friendship Puffball! Friendship!" cried Tea. She did a victory pose upon defeating Joey for the fifteenth time.

"FIDDLESTICKS!" Joey bellowed. He swept his arm across the desk, sending the Duel Monsters cards flying. Then he jumped from his chair and flipped the desk over in his frustration.

"Do you have to do that every time you lose a duel?!" Tristan asked in irritation.

"Blue pumpkins!" Joey cursed.

Yugi, Tea, and Tristan gasped at the sudden outburst.

"Joey, watch your friendship!" Tea hissed.

Suddenly, the bell rang and everyone was magically teleported outside for recess... Darn you high school kids who get recess...

"Yugi," Joey began sadly, "Mah pitchfork flapjacks scoot in noodle soup."

"Joey, the reason you stink is because of that salmon you always keep in your pocket," Yugi replied.

After that remark, the blonde pulled the salmon out of his pocket.

"Serenity!" Joey screamed, slapping Yugi's face with the salmon known as Serenity, his sister.

Yugi rubbed his afflicted cheek and smiled at his psychotic friend, "And the reason you aren't very good at Duel Monsters is because your deck is full of the weakest monsters, candy wrappers, and pieces of paper with poorly drawn monsters."

"Yugi, daisy curtain hamster?"

"Sure, Joey. I'll help you!" Yugi smiled in a noble way, "Throw in twenty bucks and you'll become a good duelist eventually," the spiky-haired shorty squealed as he was handed the asked dollar note, "I can't teach you, Joey. But I know someone wise and strong in spirit-but low in body that I can even overpower and force against his will to do the impossible-that can teach you."

xxxx

Solomon had purchased a new c.d. player, but this time he had a Brittany Spears c.d. playing. The crazy old man had a pair of capris and a tank top and doing poor executions of the pop singer's sexiest moves. He hadn't noticed that Yugi and Joey had entered. They both watched him dance with disgusted expressions.

"Hit me, baby, one more time!" Solomon sang poorly. Right on cue, Joey hit him in the back of the head with his salmon.

"Serenity!" Joey screamed.

Right. Serenity.

"Yugi? Joey? Did you skip school again?"

"We sure did, Grandpa!" Yugi replied proudly.

"That can only mean one thing: You have discovered that I am actually the leader of the race of mutant potatoes that plan to enslave the male human race and reproduce our species with the females, dominate the Earth, and fill the Grand Canyon with whipped cream! The other humans must not know of this! I have no choice but to kill you both!" exclaimed Solomon and he whipped out a rubber sword.

"No, Grandpa, it's not that. We came because I have a new student for you."

"Oh!" The relieved old man sighed and he ripped off his outfit, revealing a tuxedo. He put on a pair of cool black shades and held out a small object with a button on top. He pressed the button and a blinding light flashed. He took of the shades and ripped his tuxedo off, revealing his normal clothing, "You saw nothing and you don't know anything about the mutant potatoes."

"Gramps!" Joey fell to his knees before Solomon with the look of a desperate loser, "Purple goose pantyhose Duel Monsta's!"

"You're a freak, Joseph!" Solomon proclaimed to the pleading teenager, "Get out!"

"Grandpa, don't you remember what I said about a new student?" Yugi asked as if this was nothing out of the ordinary.

"No! Of course not! I'm senile! Duh! What student?"

"Joey."

"Fine!" Solomon shouted. He waved a magical wand that conjured itself into his hand. In a cloud of pretty, sparkly, pink smoke, the old man was wearing a sergeant uniform, "Welcome to the world of Duel Monsters! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

xxxx

Joey trained for weeks without sleep. Poor boy. Yugi, Tea, Joey, and Tristan were chillin' on the couch, watching the Duel Monsters Championship on the telly.

On the telly:

"Welcome to the final match of the Duel Monsters Championship!" the announcer announced, "Here, we have the bug-obsessed dork, Weevil Underwear!"

"HEEHEEHEEHEE! UNDERWOOD! HEEHEEHEEHEE!" Weevil cried in anger.

"I know, Mr. Underwood, I just like to call you that. And my brother paid me fifty bucks to call you that."

Weevil pouted.

"Next, is the favorite, Rex Raptor!"

"Heeheeheehee! Why do you always get the other duelists' names right?! Heeheeheehee!"

"Because you're a freak of nature and I hate you. And my sister paid me a hundred bucks to say that."

"Heeheeheehee! You suck! Heeheeheehee!" Weevil growled in pure fury.

"Let the match begin!"

Off the telly:

"Purple puppet fish!" Joey yelled at the television.

"I know it should be you up there, but you can't expect to get away with beating up the referee because he said you can't have pizza delivered to the dueling stadium," said Yugi.

On the telly:

"Phear teh wrath of meh dinoz!" Rex laid down his monster on the field, "Go, Barney!"

B:ATK/1500,DEF/1000

"Hey, kids!" giggled a chubby purple dinosaur with a green underbelly and spots. The crowd recoiled in fear. The announcer screamed like a little girl.

Weevil, too, set down a monster, "Heeheeheehee! Go, Fire Beetle! Set that polyester lizard on fire! Heeheeheehee!"

FB:ATK/1550,DEF/900

A bright red beetle appeared onto the field and fired a stream of flames at Barney, causing him to combust.

"Darn ya!" Rex's eye twitched as he lost 50 life points, "Ah summon mah Two-Headed King Rex!"

THKR:ATK/1600,DEF/1200

As soon as the new dinosaur took one look at Weevil's bug, it began screaming in fear, "A BUG! A BUG! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!"

Fire Beetle chased Two-Headed King Rex in circles until it committed suicide by diving at Rex's life point counter. The impact took out the remaining life points.

"And Weevil Underwood is the wiener!"

"HEEHEEHEEHEE! WINNER! HEEHEEHEEHEE!"

"That too... Now the presenter of the trophy! The creator of Duel Monsters, Maxamillion Pegasus!" after he was finished with his announcing, the announcer took the microphone away from his face in order for him to snicker at Pegasus' name, "What kind of a name is Maxamillion Pegasus anyway? Heh... Maxamillion..."

"Congratulations, Weevil Underwood," said Pegasus as he handed the little worm the trophy, "What are you going to do now?"

"Heeheeheehee! I'm going to Disneyland! Heeheeheehee!"

Off the telly:

"Oh, Yuuuugiiiii!" Solomon sang much to the dismay of the gang's eardrums, "You got a paaackaaaage!"

"Sweet!" Yugi immediately jumped from the couch to snatch away the package to keep his grandpa from singing any more.

Solomon handed Yugi the package and he ripped it open as if it were a birthday present. In the package was a gauntlet with two shiny stars and a video tape. He picked up the glove and slipped it on.

"Cool! A glove thingy!" Tristan exclaimed excitedly.

"Maybe the friendship manual is on the friendship tape," Tea suggested.

Yugi put in the video tape and Pegasus popped up on the television screen.

"Greetings, little Yugi, I am Maxamillion Pegasus."

"Hi, Maxamillion Pegasus," chorused a group of random people from a rehab that suddenly appeared behind the couch.

"Froogle doogle, Maxamillion Pegasus mooing under coat hangers?" Joey asked stupidly.

"What did the slacker say, Yugi?" Solomon asked.

"Joey said, 'What was Maxamillion Pegasus doing inside the video tape when he was just inside the t.v.'?"

Everyone except Joey and Yugi face-faulted, including the random rehab people.

"What kind of name is Maxamillion Pegasus anyway?" said Tristan, "Heh, Maxamillion."

"Hello?! Remember me?!" yelled Pegasus, gaining everyone's attention, "Yugi-boy, I heard about your feat with Kaiba-boy and I thought I should test you myself."

"Eh?" said everyone.

"What are you? Canadian?"

"I am," one of the random rehab people piped.

"Alright, Yugi-boy, let the test begin!"

"But I didn't study!"

Pegasus' upper body shot out of the television, holding a freeze ray gun.

"Cool 3-D affects!" Tristan exclaimed excitedly for the second time in this chapter.

"Freeze!" Pegasus blasted Yugi's friends, grandpa, and the rehab people, freezing them.

Yugi turned into Yami, "Pegasus! I will play your game, but if I win, you will thaw out my friends!"

"Yes, Yugi-boy, but we will play in a different world."

Yami gasped, "The Shadow Realm?!"

"No, somewhere different." Suddenly, everything was turning pink.

"Why is everything turning pink?"

The two duelists entered a world of warm fuzziness. Everything was pink. The ground was made of clouds. Gingerbread people, teddy bears, cute plushies, and little animals were everywhere. There were lakes and waterfalls of chocolate and mountains of rock candy.

"It's horrible!" Yami gasped in terror, "Where am I?"

"The Happy Fuzzy Realm! I'm home! Come to me, my little friends!" Tiny birds, squirrels, rabbits, and baby woodland creatures gathered around.

"It hurts my eyes to look at these monstrosities!"

"How dare you hurt the feelings of my little brothers and sisters!" Pegasus snapped.

"Let's duel!"

"We're on my turf. I'll go first. I summon Happy Bunny!" Pegasus set his monster onto the field, "The authoress does not own Happy Bunny."

The rabbit commonly seen on shirts appeared onto the field.

HB:ATK/1800,DEF/1600

"I summon Kuriboh in defense mode and set one card face-down!"

"Happy Bunny, attack Kuriboh!"

"Reveal face-down card: Straight Jacket! It traps your Happy Bunny!"

A white straight jacket conjured onto the field and bound Happy Bunny.

"NOOOO! Happy Bunny!"

"My turn, you son of a rabid monkey! I summon the Dark Magician! Dark Magic attack!" cried Yami.

In a blast of dark energy, Happy Bunny was destroyed.

"I summon the Adorable Fuzzball in defense mode! Your turn, Yugi-boy."

A pink fuzzball with large, cute eyes and a red bow on her head appeared. When Kuriboh saw her, his eyes turned into red hearts. He rushed over to Adorable Fuzzball and gave her a bouquet of flowers he pulled out of the plothole. She cooed happily upon seeing his gift. She nuzzled him and purred. The two fuzzy monsters wondered off of the dueling field.

"Okaaay... Dark Magician, attack Pegasus' life points directly!"

The Dark Magician just stared blankly into the direction where Kuriboh left with Adorable Fuzzball, completely baffled.

"My turn, then," said Pegasus as he drew a card, "I summon the Monopoly Guy in defense mode! The authoress doesn't own the Monopoly Guy."

The guy from the game of Monopoly appeared onto the field.

MG:ATK/700,DEF/1300

"Dark Magician, attack!"

"No free parking for you!" the Monopoly Guy screeched as he disappeared in the blast.

"I activate my magic card: Call of the Cartoons!" Pegasus cried in triumph, "It allows me to summon two of my favorite cartoon monsters. Come forth, my children!"

Out of a flash of colorful flashing rainbows, the characters from Pegasus' favorite comic books appeared onto the field; a pink rabbit and a brown dog.

"And I'll activate their special ability!"

"What special ability can those two freakizoids possibly possess?" asked Yami.

"Patience, Yugi-boy. Go, my little children! Attack of the Plushies!"

"What?!" Yami gasped as a multitude of adorable plushies appeared onto the field. And they were getting closer.

"Plushies, attack Dark Magician!" Pagasus ordered and the plushies turned to the Dark Magican.

The spellcaster's knees trembled as the plushies slowly made their way toward him. One by one, the plushies of different animals left their mob and went forward to challenge the Dark Magician. He swatted them aside with his scepter as Yami could only watch in horror. Then in a wave of fluffy cuteness, the plushies rushed after him. They grabbed onto his clothes and ripped them off, revealing a pair of boxer shorts with tiny radioactive flying dust bunnies printed on them. In his embarrassment, he fled from the field to hide.

"Well, Yugi-boy, if your Dark Magician was man enough to remain on the field, you might've had a chance," Pegasus teased.

"Leave my mother out of this!" Yami growled.

"Sorry."

"I forgive you, Peggy Weggy," Yami smiled.

"Thank you, Yugi Woogie Boogie."

"You're welcome, Pegsy-poo," Yugi cooed.

"Since I won, I win your grandpa," proclaimed Pegasus.

The Happy Fuzzy Realm disappeared and they were back in the real world.

"Thank Ra I'm out of that wretched world."

Yugi's friends, Solomon, and the rehab people were unfrozen.

"We're free!" they rejoiced.

Suddenly, Pegasus pulled out a vacuum and it sucked Solomon into the television. The screen only showed static, signaling that the video tape was over. Yami switched with Yugi, who curled up and cried like a sad little child.


	3. Purple Feather Dusters, Ahoy

Pony: Hooray for chapter three! Time for more excitement!

Disclaimer Dude: Sure, whatever. Pony doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

_**Chapter Three: Worms and Purple Feather Dusters, Ahoy!**_

Yugi came home from a long day of pain and misery at Boot Camp... er... School. He looked at the door and noticed that an envelope was wedged in the crack. He pulled it out and examined it. The envelope was pink with lace decorations, covered in glitter, and a pinch of confetti. It could only be from one person... Pegasus.

xxxx

The next day at school, Yugi showed his friends the cards he had found in the envelope Pegasus had sent him; after being hit in the face with a banana cream pie on a spring that Pegsy had somehow managed to fit inside of it.

"How can you even read these?" asked Tristan, who was holding up one of the cards and staring at the purdy image on it.

"It's like playing Friendship," Tea replied with a grin.

"Moo?"

"Tea said 'It's like playing Pictionary'."

"Still. How can you read these?"

"Because it explains the picture in tiny words on the back of the card," Yugi explained, "The one you're holding, Tristan, says that the prize for winning Pegasus' tournament is three million dollars."

"Sixta' fire bandits?!" Joey exclaimed with eyes the size of hamburgers, "Don't snuggle, Yugi. Mah, Tea, blah Tristan crawling in yo' unda'pants."

Tea and Tristan nodded at Joey's bold declaration of loyalty.

"Thanks, guys."

xxxx

That evening at the harbor, there was a sweet and luxurious ship waiting for the hundreds of aligned duelists to board. Of course, it was a long wait. So there were hired men with trays shouting: "Hot dogs! Peanuts!" or "Ice-cold drinks!" to be purchased. Several times, Joey had left the line to buy dozens of snack items and sodas. When he returned to his spot, the kid behind him wouldn't let him back in and told him to go to the back of the line. He wouldn't stand for that and he beat up the kid in such ways, he dropped his dueling gauntlet and star chips, jumped into the ocean, and was eaten by sharks. The satisfied blonde picked up the glove and star chips and took his place in line.

Tea and Tristan pounded two guards, stripped them of their uniforms, electronics, identification badges, counterfeit passports, and Happy Meals. The two guards were tossed into the ocean and, too, eaten by sharks. The teenagers slipped on the uniforms, put away their new electronic devices and fake I.D.'s, sold the passports on E-Bay, and ate the Happy Meals. Tea got a plushie Winged Kuriboh in her Happy Meal and Tristan got a clump of mud in his.

As soon as everyone was on board, Yugi leaned over the ship's railing and began squeaking and squawking to the nearby dolphins. Joey immediately went to the buffet to stuff himself. Tea and Tristan, still wearing the uniforms, tried their best to impersonate the guards. On their coffee break, they took the time to read "Minions of a Crazy Millionaire for Dummies".

Half an hour later, Yugi was sitting at a table, looking at his cards after one of the dolphins had hurled an octopus at him. Joey, who had devoured the entire buffet including the plates and napkins, joined his friend at the table.

"Hey, Joey," Yugi greeted his friend happily.

"Blop, Yugi," Joey patted his stomach.

Joey randomly turned around for no reason and he froze when his eyes laid upon Mai, a fiery-spirited blonde. She strode over to him and Yugi in slow-motion.

"Penguin farmer!" Joey gushed happily and he approached Mai, "Fuzzle!"

Yugi sweat-dropped, "Joey, I don't think she understands you."

"Penguin farmer? Spank you, I shmuggle," Mai said to Joey.

Joey and Yugi gasped.

"You understand him?!"

"Of course," Mai replied.

Joey's face flushed and the cogs in his head struggled to turn as he tried to think of something romantic to say.

"Your fungus likes pots of ducks and monkeys."

Mai giggled and strode off for being overcome with new emotions. Joey sighed in grief and he banged his head on a telephone pole that magically appeared on the deck.

"Heeheeheeheehee!" laughed an annoying nasal voice, causing Joey to scream like a little girl and leap into Yugi's arms.

"Evil Kinevil!" Joey gasped.

"You're right, Joey. It's Weevil Underwood," said Yugi and he dropped Joey.

"Heeheeheehee! Yugi, you beat Seto Kaiba with the legendary Muffin Combo, right? Heeheeheehee!"

"Yep!" Yugi chirped.

_"Hey!"_ Yami yelled from inside the Millennium Puzzle, _"It was me! ME!"_

"_I know", Yami," _Yugi said through their mind link, _"But if I said there's a spirit living inside my puzzle, everyone will think I'm insane."_

_"Oh, yeah. We don't want anyone to think you're insane, dolphin-boy,"_ Yami replied sarcastically.

_"Exactly," _said Yugi, not catching onto Yami's sarcasm.

"Heeheeheehee! May I see the Muffin Combo? Heeheeheehee!" Weevil asked annoyingly.

"Sure!" Yugi chirped and he handed Weevil his Rabid Muffin cards while restraining himself from hurting him.

"Heeheeheehee! Oh, Reeeeex! Heeheeheehee!" Weevil called. Rex Raptor instantly broke down the door to his luxurious room and dashed toward Weevil on all fours, "Heeheeheehee! Here, Rex! Stomp! Heeheeheehee!"

Weevil threw the Rabid Muffin cards onto the floor and Rex stomped on them until they were reduced to dust. Yugi fell to his knees and sobbed. Joey angrily leapt off of the boat and flailed in the ocean.

Suddenly, Tea's Yugi Senses were tingling. She left Tristan to enjoy his coffee break alone and searched for Yugi. Finally, she saw on the deck, Yugi mourning over his lost cards. He was wearing a black funeral dress and holding a tissue to his watering eyes. There was a tombstone planted in the spot where Rex had stomped his cards. She saw Weevil laughing like a maniac that needed a serious sinus draining and Rex running in circles chasing his imaginary tail.

Tea got out her mallet and bashed Weevil and Rex mercilessly. Then she tied them both to the anchor and tickled them with a purple feather duster for the rest of the trip. When the anchor was dropped, Rex and Weevil went down with it. Tea laughed evilly.

Joey hitched a ride on a giant starfish that clung onto the ship's hull and he swam to shore to meet his friends. Yugi ditched the funeral dress and Tristan and Tea tossed their uniforms to meet Joey.

"Party monks!" Joey squealed in excitement and he coughed up a jellyfish that had been stinging his esophagus. The jellyfish shook a tentacle at him angrily, then shriveled up and died.

Everyone congregated at the front of Pegasus' castle to hear him speak about the tournament, even Rex and Weevil who, by some miracle, managed to free themselves from the anchor and swim to shore while fending off the hungry predators.

"Let the tournament begin!" Pegasus retreated to his castle and the tournament began. Hooray!

"HEEHEEHEEHEE!!" laughed a very familiar and very annoying nasal voice.

Weevil Underwood was standing in a clearing, smirking.

"Weevil, I challenge you to a duel!" cried Yugi.

Then, Weevil ran away into the forest, laughing like the maniac he was with the gang in hot pursuit. The dork with the glasses was waiting for them on one side of a dueling arena. Yugi placed himself at the other end.

"Heeheeheehee!" Weevil laughed his laugh that was enough to make anyone with a short temper go mad. Tristan and Tea were struggling to hold back Joey, who was foaming at the mouth, from killing Weevil.

"Let's duel!" Yugi and Weevil cried in unison. Of course, Weevil did his unnecessary 'Heeheeheehee'. Yugi switched with Yami and his fangirls, who had somehow been able to follow him, leaped out of the bushes and prepared to glomp him. Luckily, Pegasus' minions had set some anti-fangirl traps and Yami's fangirls were snared in a net.

"Heeheeheehee! I summon Mr. Worm in attack mode and I set one card face-down! Heeheeheehee!"

MW:ATK/800,DEF/500

"Are you mad... er.. I mean... Oh no! Not the Mr. Worm!" yelled Yami in feigned panic, "I summon Dark Magician in attack mode!"

DM:ATK/2500,DEF/2000

The Dark Magician was rocking back-and-forth in a fetal position while sucking his thumb. He was still recovering from the mental scarring from the plushie attack.

"Dark Magician! Dark Magic attack!"

The Dark Magician snapped out of his shocked state and blasted dark energy at Mr. Worm.

"Heeheeheehee! You've activated my trap card! Heeheeheehee!"

"Trap card?!" Yami exclaimed in disbelief.

"Heeheeheehee! Reveal trap card! Screech of the Bagpipes! Heeheeheehee!"

Bagpipes appeared before Mr. Worm and a kilt conjured itself around his waist. The worm picked up the bagpipes and began playing. Everyone except Weevil covered their ears in order to block the sound of the screeching bagpipes. Dark Magician ran around in circles, flailing his arms, and screaming in agony.

"Heeheeheehee! The Dark Magician is weak against bugs that play the bagpipes! So he loses 1800 attack points! Heeheeheehee!"

DM:ATK/700

"Heeheeheehee! Mr. Worm, attack! Heeheeheehee!"

Mr. Worm ceased the bagpipes to everyone's relief. He lifted the instrument above his head and landed a blow upon the spellcaster, destroying him.

Y:1900

"Heeheeheehee! There's no way you can win! My bug will get stronger! Heeheeheehee!"


	4. Call the Bleeping Exterminator

Pony: It's time to disclaim!

Disclaimer Dude: Yeah... Pony doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

_**Chapter Four: Call the Bleeping Exterminator!**_

"I will defeat you, Weevil! As long as I believe in the Bladder of the Cards, I will win!" Yami declared.

_"Heart of the Cards,"_ Yugi corrected through their mind link.

"Er... Heart of the Cards!" Yami drew a card, "I summon Curse of Dragon in attack mode! Attack!"

CD:ATK/2000

Curse of Dragon fired it's attack at Mr. Worm.

"Heeheeheehee! Kilt Defense and Bagpipe Offense! Heeheeheehee!" Weevil yelled instantly.

Mr. Worm ripped his kilt off and held it in front of him. The kilt absorbed Curse of Dragon's attack and it disappeared in a cloud of pink smoke. The worm chucked his bagpipes at Curse of Dragon which exploded on contact, destroying him.

"Curses!" Yami growled.

"Froggy dance, Yugi! Evil cats mock potato sprouts! Heart of the Cards give you hairy knuckles!"

"Friendship, Yugi! Friendship Weevil of his friendshipping friendship chips!"

"Tea, do give Yugi words of encouragement, but don't curse!" Tristan nagged. He instantly received a menacing glare from Tea, "Sorry... Go, Yugi!"

Yami's eye twitched. Yugi's friends were cheering for the spiky-haired shrimp and not him... Well, they are foolish mortals.

"Heh, you foolish mortals... er, I mean, thanks for your words of encouragement, my friends!"

"Heeheeheehee! I play a card that turns Mr. Worm into Mr. Cocoon! Heeheeheehee!"

MC:ATK/1000,DEF/2600

In the distant background, splat sound effects were heard as Mr. Cocoon made his appearance.

"Heeheeheehee! Isn't it beautiful? Heeheeheehee!"

"No!" Yami snapped harshly, "That thing looks like a giant bean-shaped brain! I summon Gaia the Fierce Knight!"

Gaia the Fierce Knight conjured onto the field. The horse reared and whinnied fiercely.

"Woah, Captain Creampuff! Settle down, boy," Gaia spoke soothingly to his purple horse.

GFK:ATK/2300

"Gaia, attack!"

"Heeheeheehee! I activate this trap card: That Pesky Termite! Heeheeheehee!"

A cartoon termite wielding a shovel came out of nowhere. It chuckled deviously and began to dig a hole at rapid speed.

"What is your little cockroach up to?"

"Heeheeheehee! My little cockroach is performing. Heeheeheehee!" Weevil pointed into the far distance where a hissing cockroach was juggling ignited sticks.

"I meant your trap card!" Yami yelled angrily, "Can't I make fun of your bug without... uh... you know what I mean!"

"Heeheeheehee!"

"STOP THAT!"

The termite had completed its hole just when Gaia the Fierce Knight came charging in. Gaia and Captain Creampuff fell into the hole and were destroyed, saving Mr. Cocoon. The termite chuckled in victory and disappeared.

Yami threw himself to the floor of the platform and had a tantrum. Weevil enjoyed the scene by spinning on his head while cackling evilly.

_"Come on, Yami,"_ Yugi coaxed through the mind link, _"Don't let Weevil get to you. You'll win."_

"Okay!" Yami chirped happily.

Seeing that his opponent was finished kicking and screaming like a spoiled brat, Weevil scrambled to his feet, "Heeheeheehee! My turn! Heeheeheehee!"

After Weevil drew his card, a pretty moth that resembled Mr. Worm burst out of Mr. Cocoon.

"I'm free!" It proclaimed.

"Heeheeheehee! Meet Mr. Moth! Heeheeheehee!"

MM:ATK/2600,DEF/2000

"I shall rule the world!"

"Heeheeheehee! Isn't he adorable? Heeheeheehee!" Weevil cooed at Mr. Moth.

"Silence, pathetic human!" Mr. Moth roared at Weevil. He turned to Yami and laughed evilly.

Yami drew his card and set it onto the field, "I play: The Mysterious Mystical Misty Mist-Like Mist!"

"Heeheeheehee! Nooo! Heeheeheehee!" Weevil cried in despair.

"Yes! The Mysterious Mystical Misty Mist-Like Mist card dampens the field and all monsters on it! Namely yours."

Mr. Moth was wearing a shower cap and holding a brush as he was planning to shower in the drizzle Yami's card created.

"Heeheeheehee! But that's bad! Heeheeheehee!"

"It is?!" Mr. Moth gasped in horror. He exploded and wiped out all of Weevil's life points.

"Heeheeheehee! Nooo! I lost! Heeheeheehee!"

"How can you laugh like that even if you're upset?" Yugi asked in a confused manner upon switching with Yami.

"Heeheeheehee! I don't know. Heeheeheehee!"

As soon as Weevil's star chips were snatched away, a guy snatched him. He lifted the bug-loving dork above his head, carried him to the dock, and chucked him in headfirst, giving him a concussion.

Then suddenly, Mai came dashing out of the forest.

"Sorry... I'm late..." she gasped, out of breath.

"Late? Late for what?" Yugi asked curiously.

Mai blinked, "Nothing... nothing at all..." The blonde turned around and ran off.

"Oh, well."

Because the entire dueling arena had been thoroughly soaked, it melted because it was actually made of sugar. While Yugi, Tea, and Tristan were lapping up the massive puddle of sugary water, Joey was beating up some kid for his star chips, giving him four.

"You're a big meanie!" the kid shouted after receiving an atomic wedgie.

"Friendly boxer shorts!" Joey countered.

"You're a big meanie and a freak!"

Before Joey could give the kid a super atomic wedgie, the same guy who took Weevil carried the kid off and chucked him headfirst into the boat with Weevil, also giving him a concussion.

"Fiber woodchuck," Joey stomped off to join his friends in licking the sugar off the ground.

xxxx

As the sun began to sink over the horizon-Yugi and his friends couldn't tell because they were trekking through the dense forest-The gang began complaining about hunger, exhaustion, and swollen feet that were covered in blisters. They set up a tent Joey had stolen from the kid and a campfire was lit. After a meal of stale potato chips and moss-covered bark, Yugi and his friends gathered around the campfire to keep warm and to keep the hungry mosquitoes from eating them alive.

Then, there was a rustling in the bushes.

"Friendship!" Tea shrieked in fear.

"Bumpa' sticka's!" Joey dove behind Yugi for protection.

"Stay back!" Tristan threatened the creature within the bushes, holding up a twig and a clothesline to serve as weapons.

"Who's there?" Yugi asked the lurking creature, "Show yourself!"

That is when the creature emerged. It was...

"Bakura?" said Yugi with a rather surprised expression.

"Ryou Bakura from class?" said Tristan.

"Popping sprinkles in clown suits, Bakura?" Joey asked.

"I beg your pardon?" Bakura asked, extremely confused.

"Joey asked, 'What are you doing here, Bakura?'"

"Oh... I don't know. I don't even know how I got here."

The rest blinked.

"There is something I want to show you all. Especially you, Yugi."

The surrounding area became dark... darker than it already was.

"Time for your baths!" Bakura shouted randomly. It actually wasn't Bakura. A ring materialized from his chest and it used its magical powers. Yugi, Tea, Joey, and Tristan were surrounded by dark energy, decreasing their size, and fusing them into Yugi's deck which somehow found its way on a random stump.

"Yay! I escaped!" Yami rejoiced.

"WHAT?! HOW?!"

Yami shrugged casually, "I dunno."

"It does not matter anyway. Get ready to duel, you fool!"

"I don't wanna!" Yami sat cross-legged on the ground and pouted.

"Too bad! I want your Millennium Puzzle."

"But-But, I live in it!" Yami whined.

"Not for long."

"Fine!" Yami spat, "I'll duel you if it'll shut you up!"


	5. Joey in a Dress!

Pony: I proudly present the next chapter!

Disclaimer Dude: I don't. Pony doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

_**Chapter Five: Big Yugi, Little Yugi… Joey in a Dress?!**_

"Let's duel!" Yami and the spirit of the Millennium Ring cried in unison.

"I summon Cyber Commander in attack mode!" Yami declared.

"What the?" gasped the summoned Cyber Commander. Actually… it wasn't Cyber Commander… It was… Richard Simmons! AHHHH!! …. Just kidding. It was Tristan dressed up like the monster.

"Tristan? How did you do that? How come you're so small? Why is the sky blue? Which came first? The chicken or the egg?" Yami threw questions at the panicking Tristan.

"I don't know… I don't know!" Tristan began hyperventilating.

"The egg came first, you fools! The chicken hatches from the egg!" said Yami Bakura in extreme irritation.

"No, it was the chicken. The chicken lays the egg and keeps it warm so it will hatch!" Yami argued.

"Then why did you ask?! Nevermind! Finish your turn!"

"Um… My turn is done."

"Good. I set a monster in face-down position and end my turn."

"Cyber Commander Tristan, attack!" Yami ordered his monster/"friend".

"Prepare to be terminated!" Tristan shouted in a deep voice and he fired his gun, destroying Yami Bakura's face-down monster. Unfortunately, it was an effect monster.

"Go, Morphing Jar, send Cyber Commander to the graveyard!" Yami Bakura shouted maniacally.

"I'll be back!" Tristan yelled in his deep voice before being sent to the graveyard.

"No! Tristan!" Yami shouted in despair. Then his casual nature returned, "Oh, well, I never liked him anyway."

Yami drew his card and summoned Joey in the Flame Swordsman outfit.

"Nyaaahh!" Joey yelled in surprise, "Juggling spork guts!"

"Oh, shut up!" Yami Bakura hissed.

Joey gazed up and surveyed his surroundings, "Bakura? Yugi? Moose?"

"Yo," said a random talking moose a short distance away, then it exploded.

"Heh, Joey's wearing a dress," Yami snickered, eyeing Joey's robe.

"Raccoon?" Joey looked at his outfit and exclaimed, "Am ram raccoon!"

"Quiet, you!" Yami bellowed at poor Joey, "Attack!"

Joey lifted his mighty blade and swung it at Yami Bakura's life point counter.

YB: 200

"Waahhh!" Yami Bakura began crying like a little baby.

"I'm gonna win!" Yami rejoiced.

"Waahhh! I summon Sumo Monkey in attack mode and end my turn! Waahhh!"

SM: ATK/2000, DEF/1000

"Suuumooooo!" screamed a morbidly obese monkey that was wearing a diaper.

"I use Monster Reborn to reborn Cyber Commander from the graveyard because he's the only monster there," said Yami, "And I set a card face-down and end my turn!"

"Waahhh! I summon Yo Mamma in defense mode. Waahhh!"

YM: ATK/1200, DEF/2200

A chubby, balding, middle-aged man in a skirt, blouse, high heels, and wearing poorly applied makeup appeared onto the field.

"Phonebook smog!" Joey cried in fear.

"Don't you talk to me like that, young lady!" Yo Mamma screeched at Joey in a high voice.

"What the?" said Yami, obviously creeped out by Yo Mamma.

"Your turn," said Yami Bakura, no longer crying.

"I summon Dark Magician in attack mode and end my turn!"

"Huh? What's going on?" Yugi, garbed in the Dark Magician's attire, asked Tristan.

"I think we've lost our marbles," Tristan replied.

"Darn! Now we can't play marbles at recess," Yugi pouted.

"Smashing curry pigeons!" Joey yelled at his comrades, "Fat homing fountains!"

"You're right, Joey. Those marbles were fake anyway."

"I order Sumo Monkey to attack your Flame Swordsman!"

"Nyaahh!" Joey yelled in horror.

"Reveal face-down trap card: Micky D's!" Yami exclaimed.

Suddenly, copious amounts of burgers, french fries, and McNuggets appeared before Sumo Monkey whose eyes beamed with glee. He charged at the food and devoured it all. He was soon destroyed after experiencing a massive heart attack.

"My tuuuurn!" Yami sang, "I summon Magician of Faith in defense mode!"

"Friendship!" Tea, who of course was in Magician of Faith's robe, cried out in fright.

"How dare you!" Yami Bakura bellowed.

"Destroy your monster?" Yami asked.

"No. Summoning HER!" Yami Bakura pointed a finger at Tea, who was now skipping in circles and tossing daisies into the air and ranting about friendship.

"Where did she get those daisies?" Tristan asked his shorter friend.

"They must've came with Magician of Faith's outfit," Yugi replied.

"Silence, you pitiful manly wannabe cosplaying Thumbelinas!" Yami roared, "Dark Magician, attack Yo Mama!"

Yugi whirled upon his dark side, his eyes glittering angrily, "What did you say about my mama?!"

"She's fat. Now attack Bakura's extremely creepy monster that will haunt my dreams for all eternity!"

Yugi pounced upon Yo Mama and whacked him on the head with his staff until he was destroyed.

"That's it, missy! You're grounded!" Yo Mama cried before shattering into pieces.

"Now, the rest, attack!"

"We have names, you know," said Tristan.

"I know, but the authoress made me too lazy to mention you all individually."

Joey and Tristan lunged at Yami Bakura, finishing off his life points and winning the duel. The spirit of the Millennium Ring retreated into the item, whimpering like a wounded dog. Good ol' Ryou Bakura dusted off his sweater as the gang was restored back to normal… well… as normal as I made them in this parody.

"Wait a minute!" Tristan shouted and everyone turned their attention toward him, "How did our cards get into Yugi's deck?"

The rest shot angry glances at little Yugi.

"Yami must've stolen them and slipped them into my deck… again," Yugi sighed, "I'll have a talk with him… again…"

Satisfied with the answer, everyone settled down for the night.

"I will save you, Grandpa. I will save you," Yugi drifted off to sleep.

After the entire group was out, a troop of raccoons raided their remaining food supplies. Muahahahaha!


	6. My Mai Valentine

Pony: Here's chapter six! Hoorayness!

Disclaimer Dude: …. Pony doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh…

_**Chapter Six: My Mai Valentine**_

It was a beautiful morning even though the campsite had been thoroughly trashed. Everyone was up and about, busy with morning chores that Yugi just randomly assigned to everyone else's dismay.

Except Tea.

"Good friendship, friends!" Tea cheerfully greeted the group who, except Yugi, groaned in response.

"Good morning, Tea!" Yugi chirped just as cheerfully. Morning people. Don't you just love them? Squee!

At the nearby lakeshore, Joey and Tristan were on a mission to catch fish for breakfast. The raccoons had poured plaster all over Tristan while he was asleep and now he was as stiff as a statue, yet somehow, he managed to follow his friend to the lake. The blonde picked up his pointy-haired friend, sat down and set the length of him across his lap in order to sharpen the point of his hair with a rock. Upon deciding that Tristan's hair was sharp enough, Joey carried him in one arm and wadded into the lake's shallows. The teen with the Brooklyn accent lifted his statuesque friend above his head and aimed at a nearing fish. He thrust Tristan into the water and pulled him out in a split-second with a fish wriggling at the sharp point of the hairdo where it had been impaled. Joey snatched the fish off Tristan's hair and ran toward the campfire to prepare the meal. The lake's magical water counteracted the plaster's effects and Tristan was now able to move again.

Everyone packed up after breakfast and set out to continue their misadventure. Suddenly, Mai appeared into thin air… literally. Joey gasped and began babbling like a rabid Furby.

"Hello, everyone," Mai greeted the group. She turned to Joey who was drooling before her, "Come on, Joseph, let's duel."

With supersonic speed, Joey sprinted to the nearest dueling arena with Mai and his friends following behind.

"Let's duel!" said Mai happily.

"Gush drool!" said Joey just as happily and he gestured to Mai to make the first move, "Dolly mush."

"Such a gentleman," Mai gushed and drew her card, "I summon Fat Chick in attack mode!"

FC: ATK/1400, DEF/1000

"Mah pottery bat pounds gopha's."

"I'm not expecting you to go easy on me, Joey."

Joey giggled and drew his card, "Mah spurt Bunny Puppy in attack mode!"

Everyone except Joey gasped. For the last two words in his seemingly meaningless sentence were not of his own language, but real words.

"Joey's first real words!" Tristan squealed as tears of joy streamed down his cheeks. For him, it was like a father hearing his child's first words. Really, it was. He spend most of his childhood teaching Joey how to perform simple tasks since his father was abducted by aliens and his mother was in some other place with his sister, "Way to go, Joey!"

"Awesome, Joey!" Yugi cheered.

"Friendship, Joey!" Do I really have to put who said this line?

Joey hadn't realized it. It figures. He thought his friends were giving him praise for summoning his first monster.

BP: ATK/1600, DEF/1200

"Bunny Puppy, splat!" Joey commanded his adorable puppy and bunny hybrid creature. It pounced upon Fat Chick playfully and destroyed her with its ruthless licking.

M: 1800

Mai growled in frustration for Fat Chick was her only monster. Okay… seriously, who would be stupid enough to have just one monster in their deck? Well, Mai would. But who besides Mai and a slow idiot? Nobody!

"Nyeh-heh-heh!" Joey chortled.

"I set a card face-down and end my turn."

Joey, thinking he had this duel almost won, ordered Bunny Puppy to attack directly.

"I don't think so, Mop-Head! I play my trap card! Dog Catcher!"

"Nyahhh!"

A man in a uniform conjured onto Mai's side of the field and whipped out a net, trapping Bunny Puppy and taking it to the graveyard with him. Joey was petrified.

"My turn, shaggy. I play 'Return of the Fat Chick'!"

Fat Chick returned from the graveyard and she waved at Joey with a fluffy arm.

"And I equip her with 'Tone Up'! It raises her attack points by 500!"

FC: ATK/1900

Fat Chick looked herself over as her body became sleek and sexy.

"Fat Chick, attack!"

The previously appropriately-named monster hurled a stalk of asparagus at Joey, damaging his life points.

J: 100

"How intense!" piped Bakura.

"Meh spurt Flame Swordsman an' meh spurts 'Knight in Shining Armor'!"

A brand spankin' new full suit of silver armor conjured onto Flame Swordsman, boosting his attack strength.

FS: ATK/2400

"Oh… silicon…" said Mai with wide eyes of terror-ness.

"Flame Swordsman, splat!"

Flame Swordsman swung his fiery blade and destroyed Fat Chick in such a non-violent, 4Kids-dubbed way.

M: 1300

Mai groaned in defeat as she set another card face-down, "I end my turn."

Joey, thinking that he had this duel won, ordered his monster to attack.

"Hold it, buster!" Mai shouted, suddenly free of her image of defeat and catching everyone's attention, including Flame Swordsman who was frozen in place. He held his blade above his head in anticipation of destroying her creature, "I activate this trap card!"

Everyone, excluding Mai, gasped in surprise as if that had never happened before in the history of card games.

"Trap card?!" Yugi repeated.

"Yes! Trap card! Aren't any of you paying attention?!" Mai received blank expressions in response.

"Can we hurry along? My arms are getting tired," Flame Swordsman whined.

"Shhhh! We're not suppose to talk!" Fat Chick hissed at Joey's monster. Fortunately for them, the humans weren't paying any attention to them at the moment.

"My trap card is called… Bucket of Water!" Mai declared.

"Mai's monster is holding a bucket of water!" Tristan pointed out as the gang gazed in awe.

"Not a bucket of water!" Bakura cringed on his stump.

"Friendship!" Tea shrieked.

"Be careful, Joey! Fat Chick has a bucket of water!" Yugi warned the brain-dead blonde who was staring blankly and drooling.

Mai's palm slapped her forehead. It was just an illusion. How stupid can these dorks be?

Joey finally snapped out of his stupor and realized what Mai's creature was holding. He let out a horrified squeak, "Fia' hydrant!"

Mai rolled her eyes, "All right, Fat Chick, rust that swordsman's armor!"

Flame Swordsman gulped as his whole life flashed before his eyes. Fat Chick hurled the liquid on her opponent, soaking his armor and causing it to rust, rendering him motionless.

"Muahahahahahahahaha!!" Mai cackled triumphantly.

Joey drew his card nervously and he brightened up. He let out a victorious 'Mwah!' as he placed it on the field, and causing Mai's laughter to cease, "Oiling Can!"

"Oh no!" the bleached blonde gasped.

"Peppers! Oiling Can causes grease monkeys to fly south!" Joey proclaimed and an oiling can that appeared onto the field floated over to the rusted Flame Swordsman and oiled out the rust. Finally, the previously immobile monster stretched and loosed his stiff holographic limbs, "Flame Swordsman, splat!"

Flame Swordsman obeyed instantly and swung his blade at Fat Chick, who was running around in circles with the empty bucket covering her head. She was, once again, destroyed and Mai's life points went down.

Suddenly, the Laws of Randomness took its toll and Mai lost 1000 life points because Fat Chick was wearing a bucket on her head.

"That makes no sense!!"

Indeed. It doesn't.

Mai pouted for a good thirteen minutes. After the time period ended, she and Joey stepped off the platform where the star chips were awarded, "Good duel, Joseph.." She grumbled and left.

"Nice job, Joey," Yugi congratulated and was followed by praise from the rest of the gang.

Joey felt so proud of himself, he began skipping as he and his friends continued on their merry way. Suddenly, his eyes were covered by the paws of a raccoon that wanted to play hide-and-seek with him. The blonde tripped over a large rock that was shaped like a one-legged apple and landed in a puddle of Grade-A axel grease that was somehow able to hold up an orange foam hand with a raised index finger that said "Go Prospectors".

"Careful, Joey," said Tristan as he helped up his cursing friend. The raccoon scurried off to maul a random French man with a mustache.

The one-legged, apple-shaped rock turned into a sofa which melted because it was extremely vulnerable to oxygen. The grease transformed into a cell phone and it dialed every country in the world. When the orange foam hand, the cell phone's owner, received the expensive bill, it went on a rampage that caused a rabid banana to destroy itself, the foam hand, and the cell phone. The expensive bill still lurks Duelist Kingdom and its soul will not rest until it has been paid.

After the blissful and confusing moments of randomness, the group's nagging hunger lead them astray to the scent of cooked fish.


	7. Free Willy!

Pony: Here be chapter seven!

Disclaimer Dude: Pony doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

_**Chapter Seven: Free Willy!**_

Yugi and his friends had been lead to a campsite with fish cooking over a campfire, which they devoured within seconds. They ate the fish too.

"FIENDS!" snarled a teenager named Mako as he emerged from the edge of the cliff. He was carrying a long, sharp stick and wearing water wings, "How dare you!"

The gang recoiled in fear.

"Sorry, but we were hungry and we thought that the owner of this campsite fell off the cliff and was eaten by feminine sharks wearing pink tutus who worship a poem titled 'Ode to the Ball of Lint I Found in my Belly Button While Visiting the Great Grasshopper of New Jersey'!"

"You ate my fish?" Mako blinked in surprise.

It was the group's turn to blink.

"Then… what did we do?" Yugi asked, quite confused.

"You meanie-heads killed my father!"

"DID NOT!" Tristan bellowed.

"You don't have to yell at me!" Mako sobbed, "Now your short friend has to duel me!"

"I'm not short!" Yugi shouted with a stomp of his little foot, attempting to put emphasis on his resenting statement.

"Awwww! Aren't you adorable!" Mako cooed and he pinched Yugi's cheek.

Tea hissed at Mako and seized Yugi protectively, "Friendship!"

"You still have to duel me."

"All right, I'll duel you, Mako," said Yugi, who magically knew the crazy teenager's name.

"How do you know my name?! Who are you?!" Mako screamed in panic.

"I'm Yugi Motto," Yugi replied casually.

"Yugi? You ruined my life!" Mako pulled a couple of dice out of his soaking pants.

"Wrong person," came the monotonous reply from the gang.

"Impersonating minor characters is my hobby! So is scrap booking and knitting sweaters that look like a shoe being swallowed by a seeing-eye dog. Got a problem with that?"

"Impersonating other people is against the law on Jupiter's third moon!" Tristan blurted. Mako, then, shoved his two dice up Tristan's nostrils and slapped him with a rag doll he found in the dimension hole next to him.

Then, Yugi switched with Yami and his fangirls that had escaped the anti-fangirl traps pounced. Pegasus' minions were right behind them and they launched their weapons. When their targets were hit with Nerf footballs, they collapsed to the ground and began having seizures.

"Duel!" Yami and Mako cried in unison.

"I summon the Hobo Pixie in attack mode!" a smelly hobo with fairy wings appeared onto the field.

HP: ATK/1500, DEF/1000

"Can you spare some change?" Hobo Pixie asked Mako with pleading, hungry eyes.

"I haven't got a penny, you holographic bum! That is why I must win the tournament, so I can win the prize money and save my father!" Mako's eyes welled up with tears, "He and his boat are inside the belly of a sperm whale and I must buy a boat, find the whale, get eaten by it, find my father, and get out of the whale!"

"You're a crazy person!" Yami declared.

"It's the only way to get my father out of that whale! I need to go into the whale myself!" Mako declared back.

"Not that! If your father wad been swallowed by a whale, he would've been digested by now, you idiot!"

"_And it would be impossible for a whale to swallow a human. It's throat isn't big enough,"_ said Yugi through the mind link.

"_Yes, that too."_

"I am going to completely ignore your scientific logic and summon Super Kool Koi in attack mode!" a huge and beautiful orange koi with black stripes appeared.

"Glub, glub!" Super Kool Koi kried (Heehee!).

SKK: ATK/2400, DEF/2000

"Super Kool Koi, attack Hobo Pixie with Belly Flop!"

"Gluuuub!" Super Kool Koi gargled as he hurled himself at Yami's monster and crushed it.

Y: 1100

"Nooo! Bad fishy!" Yami scolded Mako's big fish.

"Good boy, Super Kool Koi!" Mako praised his big fish.

"I set three cards face-down and I summon Curse of Dragon in defense mode!"

"Super Kool Koi, attack!"

"Reveal face-down card! Flush Funeral!" a giant toilet rose from the holographic enlarged version of the trap card.

"NOOOOOO!!" Mako fell to his knees as his fish was lured to the giant toilet with a chunk of polka-dotted meat on a stick and flushed.

"I switch Curse of Dragon to attack mode!" Yami shouted triumphantly, "Curse of Dragon, attack!"

Curse of Dragon fired a stream of flames at Mako, but the attack was somehow diminished into wisps of steam.

"What the?!" Yami gasped in awe and confusion, "How?!"

"Super Kool Koi's special ability. When it is destroyed, it leaves behind a slimy mucus coat that makes fire attacks useless!"

"That is very useful… and GROSS!" Yami yelled, "And your father is dead."

"No, he's not! He's alive and he's waiting for me in the belly of a whale!" Mako argued, "What about that story 'Pinocchio'? The wooden puppet's father was waiting for him in a giant whale's belly!"

"That was scientifically inaccurate, you gullible moron!"

"Well… I… Uh… Shut up!"

"No, you shut up!" Yami countered.

"No, you shut up!"

"No, you shut up!"

"No, you shut up!"

"No, you shut up!"

"Blarg of hedgies foraging cabbits!" Joey bellowed.

"Friendship!"

"Yeah, both of you shut up and continue the duel!" Tristan added.

"Fine! My turn!" Mako drew a card and he grinned maniacally, "I set two cards face-down and I summon Giant Squid in defense mode!"

GS: ATK/1400, DEF/1600

"Curse of Dragon, attack!" Yet again, the dragon's fiery attack was extinguished by the slimy film.

"Did you forget about the slimy mucus surrounding my area?"

"Yes, I did, but I won't next time."

"I summon Moby Dick in attack mode!"

MD: ATK/25000, DEF/2000

"Reveal face-down card: Captain Ahab!" Yami announced as the fictional whaler appeared and drove a harpoon into Moby Dick. When the beautiful white creature was destroyed, Captain Ahab exploded.

"NOOOO!" cried Mako, "I reveal my own face-down card: Save the Whales!"

A mob that consisted a group of hippies, whale biologists, and whale watchers wielding picket signs congregated onto the field.

"I get to special summon another whale in place of my Moby Dick."

A baby orca conjured onto the field. It's large, sky blue eyes sparkled and he smiled cutely.

"Meet Baby Shamu!"

BS: ATK/1800, ATK/1500

"Actually, dude, an orca is the world's largest dolphin, not a whale," a random girl who just randomly appeared randomly stated randomly.

"Then how come it is also known as the 'killer whale'?" Yami asked the random girl.

"Because they're big. And they're known as the ocean's top predator!" she randomly replied dramatically and randomly.

"Finally… Someone else who shares my love with the sea and the creatures who inhabit it!" Mako's eyes materialized into hearts. The random girl randomly skipped away randomly while randomly singing randomly.

"No, come back, my love!" Mako fell to his knees and hung his head.

"Make your move, Mako!" Yami ordered irritably.

"Yes, mommy," the fish freak replied sarcastically with a sassy roll of his eyes.

Joey, Tea, and Tristan exchanged perplexed looks and continued to watch the duel.

"I use my field card: Flash Flood! It covers the arena with water and hides my ocean creatures!"

"Oh, bunkerdoodles," Yami drew a card, "I play Noah's Ark! My monster is now safe from drowning!"

A miniature version of an ark appeared and Yami's previously flailing dragon perched onto it.

"I counter your floatation device with this! Attack of the Pirates!"

A miniature pirate ship sailed to Yami's side of the water-covered field and it began firing cannons. The ark eventually began to sink and music from the movie 'Titanic' played in the background. To make things even more interesting or just plain weird, two tiny people that resembled Jack and Rose were floating on a piece of floating debris. Curse of Dragon, who was also perched onto drifting remains that were slowly sinking, gazed down at the two lovers and gobbled them up. The dragon's sorry excuse for a raft finally sank and he drowned because he obviously forgot that he could fly.

"Ha! You are wide open for a direct assault, but I won't attack because I'm an idiot!" exclaimed Mako and he laughed evilly.


	8. Blargashmishargy!

Pony: Well, here's the next chapter!

Disclaimer Dude: Pony doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

_**Chapter Eight: Blargashmishargy!**_

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…" Mako paused his evil laughter to refill his lungs, "… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm done."

"Finally!" Yami yelled angrily, "I play a magic card called 'Return to Sea World'!"

"Oh! I love Sea World!" Mako squealed in delight.

"You're not the one going to Sea World!" Yami bellowed.

"You're no fun!" Mako pouted.

"I know," said Yami, "My magic card sends your Baby Shamu back to Sea World!"

"No! Baby Shamu!" Mako cried in despair.

"Yes! Baby Shamu!" Yami cried triumphantly as the infant marine mammal emerged from the water and flew off into the horizon carrying a suitcase with one flipper despite lacking fingers, "Next, I play: Magnetic Force!"

"Why? It can't harm my monster."

"Oh, no?" Suddenly, Mako's Giant Squid flew out of the water and stuck fast to a large magnet that materialized onto the field.

"What?! But Giant Squid isn't magnetic!" exclaimed the psycho fish-lover.

"It is now."

"How?! It doesn't make any sense!"

"Do not question my dueling skills!" Yami roared.

"Fine! Is it my turn yet?"

"No!" Mako recoiled in fear, "Now, I use your Giant Squid as a sacrifice in order to play this ritual card."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES! NOW SHUT UP!"

"Meep!"

"Heeheeheehee! Go, Belted Kingfisher!" a king-sized belted kingfisher appeared and it hovered in place, waiting for its order to attack, "Attack!"

BK: ATK/3000, DEF/2500

Belted Kingfisher swooped down and attacked Mako, wiping out his life points.

Mako dropped to his knees and sobbed, "Father…"

"Oh, suck it up, you big crybaby," said the annoyed Yami.

"You're mean! I'm telling Elizabeth!" After handing Yami his star chips, Mako leaped off the cliff where he was mauled by a sea monster, "Elizabeth! That hurts! Stop it, Elizabeth!"

Yami switched with Yugi and Tea clung back onto him, "Friendship did it, Yugi!"

Yugi seemed to be slightly disappointed when Tristan and Joey combined their strength and pried her off with a crowbar. In order to keep Tea from clinging onto Yugi again, Bakura kept her distracted with a ding-dong hanging from a fishing pole. Joey had also been distracted by the cream-filled chocolate cake and he had two-hundred volts surging through his body by his new shock collar that Tristan had slipped on him the previous night.

Without warning, something jumped out of the bushes and landed in front of Joey, "Boogaboogaboo!"

"Nyaahhh!" Joey leaped into Tristan's arms. Tristan immediately dropped his blonde friend.

It was Rex Raptor and he wanted to duel, "Joeh Wheela' ah challaang ya 2 ah dewl!"

Everyone just stared at Rex, until Mai emerged from the forest. Of course, Joey began drooling at an alarming rate, until his shock collar zapped him out of his trance. Joey pounced on Tristan and began an attempt to mess up his hair.

"Noooo! My hair!" Tristan screamed frantically while trying to pry Joey's hands from his perfectly sculpted hairdo.

"Foraging cabbits, Tristan!"

Luckily for Tristan's hair, Joey got off of him and turned his attention to Mai when she began to speak.

"Those of you who didn't understand Rex, I'll translate because I can speak 'Moron'."

Rex glared at Mai hatefully.

"Rex said he wants to duel Joey," Mai translated.

"I shall smash the carrots with mah pink slippa's!" said Joey.

"Whutdidayewsaya?"

"Joey accepts the challenge," Mai translated, yet again.

The blonde spaz and the dinosaur-obsessed lunatic took their places at opposite ends of a dueling arena that magically appeared out of nowhere.

"Ah shummun mah Protoceratops een ataak m0de!" cried Rex as a protoceratops, a triceratops-like dinosaur with no horns, appeared onto the field.

P-ATK/2050, DEF/1900

"Gurgling gargoyles! Meh flash Mr. Ducky in front of the children!"

MD-ATK/1200, DEF/1800

A psychotic-looking duck with enlarged, rounded teeth and twitching eyes appeared onto the field in defense mode.

"Protoceratops, ataaaak!" Protoceratops pawed the ground and charged at Mr. Ducky, destroying him.

"Mah spurt Flame Swordsman!" Joey announced as he summoned his prized warrior monster. As soon as Protoceratops took one good look at the fiery creature, he curled up into a fetal position and began whimpering.

"Whuzza mattar, Protoceratops?" Rex gasped worriedly as his dinosaur's attack and defense points decreased.

P-ATK/1050, DEF/800

Joey looked confused, as usual. Protoceratops bashed itself in the head with a stick of beef jerky as it cowered in fear. Since the attack points were lower, he decided to order Flame Swordsman to attack, "Splat!"

Protoceratops shrieked like a little girl as Flame Swords man swung his blade and destroyed it.

R-1250

"Gyoooe, Tyrannosaurus!"

T-ATK/2200, DEF/1600

"Ataaaak!"

"You dummy!" Mai scolded at Rex, "Dinosaurs are highly allergic to fire! It makes them have a nervous breakdown and lowers their attack and defense points!"

"Ah ish nawt ah dummeh!" countered Rex then he turned to look at his monster. His dinosaur was sitting in a random recliner and watching 'Dr. Phil' on a random television. The dinosaur-lover sobbed, "Tyrannosaurus!"

T-ATK/1200, DEF/600

Joey smirked and he ordered Flame Swordsman to attack, "Splat!"

R-1050

Rex hissed like a rabid mother panther and he drew a card. He eyed it and let out his personal evil laugh, "Mwahzahzahzahzahzah! Ah shummun Serpent Night Dragon!"

SND-ATK/2300

"Serpent Night Dragon picks pixie frost!" Joey declared.

"Whut?"

"Joey said that Serpent Night Dragon's points go down as well," Mai translated again.

"Sowwy, Joeh! Serpent Night Dragon ish ah dwagon, nawt ah dynosawr! Mwahzahzahzahzah!"

Joey had no clue what Rex just said. Even if he could talk like normal, he probably wouldn't be able to understand him anyway.

"Serpent Night Dragon, ataaak!"

J-1500

Serpent Night Dragon wore a triumphant grin. He wanted to celebrate for destroying Flame Swordsman because they had been rivals in high school. A disco ball randomly materialized above the dueling arena and the ground below lit up in many colors. Music from the 70's began playing in the background and the dragon began disco dancing.

"That's… a strange sight," said Tristan.

"Yeah…" Yugi agreed.

"Friendship," Tea agreed as well.

"Quite so," Bakura also agreed also. He sat down on his stump, crossed his legs, and took out a hot cup of tea out of his dimension hole. He stuck out his pinkie finger as he sipped his beverage.

"Wit mah Serpent Night Dragon, ah weel deestr0y yo lief poooeentz fo da wiiin!"

The fellowship blinked in confusion.

Mai sighed and translated, "Rex said, with his Serpent Night Dragon, he will destroy Joey's life points and win the duel."

"Fat chance!" Tristan blurted.

Rex threw a brick at the pointy-haired teenager.


	9. DINOMITE!

Pony: It's chapter nine!

Disclaimer Dude: Pony doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

_**Chapter Nine: DINOMITE!**_

"You can do it, Joey!" cried Yugi.

"Friendship in your friendship and you will friendship!"

Tristan was too busy lying on the ground, clutching his head in pain caused by the brick Rex threw at him.

"What they said," piped Bakura and he went back to sipping his tea.

"Ah flash The Mime in front of the children!" Joey played a sorry-looking mime onto the field where it proceeded to perform mime stuff.

"Serpent Night Dragon, attaaack Da Mime!"

As the dragon lunged at Joey's monster, it crashed into an invisible wall created by The Mime. Serpent Night Dragon recovered from the impact to its head and it retreated back to its owner's side of the field.

"Oh noez!"

Suddenly, Flame Swordsman returned to the field randomly. It took half an hour for the entire group of humans to get over the extreme confusion, "The Mime, Flame Swordsman, splat!"

"What?!" Tristan exclaimed instantly after Joey ordered the attack. His monsters were weaker than Rex's dragon. Surly Joey wasn't THAT stupid.

"But, Joey!" Yugi reasoned, "Both of your monsters are weaker than Rex's monster!"

"Come friendship, Joey!" Tea continued to cheer.

Bakura was too busy sipping tea.

The Mime tied up Serpent Night Dragon with invisible rope, making him unable to move. Then, The Mime hurled an invisible shurikun at the chord that was attached to the disco ball, severing it and causing the disco ball to plummet right onto Serpent Night Dragon's head. With its head stuck inside the disco ball, Rex's monster was forced into defense mode. Finally, Flame Swordsman struck the dragon with his fiery blade and destroyed him even though his attack points weren't high enough.

Yugi, Tea, and Tristan cheered.

"Serpent Night Dragon's poeentz wer haier ten Flame Swordsman'z!" Rex declared. Everyone else shrugged, "Grrrrrrz! Ah shummun da uber Red-Eyes Black Dragon!"

All, excluding Rex, gasped in horror as the dreaded dragon emerged onto the field.

RBD-2400

"Attaaack Flame Swordsman!" Rex ordered and the black dragon let out a flaming fireball that destroyed the flaming monster, flaming… I mean damaging Joey's life points.

J-1400

"Meh flops The Mime under the frightened children," Joey's The Mime went into defense mode.

"Haha! Red Eyes shall deefeet joo! All yo cardz r stoopid!" Rex taunted Joey, but he didn't realize it. He thought that the dinosaur freak was asking him out on a date… he was very disturbed and so was the authoress… and Disclaimer Dude.

"Rocky road ice cream!" Joey hissed angrily.

Rex whirled around and searched for any rocky road ice cream, "Wearizit?!"

"Too late, Raptor," said Mai. She was holding a large bowl overflowing with rocky road ice cream. Of course, she kept an eye out for her Weight Watchers supervisor. Miraculously, Joey hadn't noticed the ice cream.

"Red-Eyes Black Dragon! Attaaack!" Rex ordered, who hadn't heard Mai and was still searching for the ice cream. Luckily for Joey, Red-Eyes Black Dragon didn't understand his owner's language. He thought that he wanted it to self-destruct, take out Rex's life points, and join Joey's deck. He did just that.

"Joo wash luckeh, Joeh Wheela'!" Rex roared. As soon as the tall, muscular men who drag the losers off the island arrived, the dinosaur-lover managed to avoid them for five hours. He was carried off to the loser boat kicking, screaming, and spouting out against the Canadian federal government after giving up the search for ice cream and his star chips and his Red-Eyes Black Dragon.

After the insanity, Mai trekked back into the woods before Joey could give her a romantic poem that would've made her fall madly in love with him and vow to marry him someday. Unfortunately, the poem was eaten by a black and white striped bird.

xxxx

In the evening, Yugi and his friends had set up camp and they, except Bakura who was meditating upside-down in a tree, were sitting around a campfire. Tristan was telling a ghost story.

"And then…" said Tristan building up suspense, "When they looked into the back seat of the car… there was… Joey's gym socks!"

"Ahhhhh" Yugi and Tea clung onto each other in fear while Joey scowled angrily and Tristan fell backwards off the log he was sitting on, laughing like a deranged hyena.

Still clinging onto the other, Yugi and Tea slowly turned their heads to look at each other. They released the other and blushed with embarrassment. Tristan was rolling around Bakura's tree, cackling.

Bakura fell out of his tree and landed on Tristan.

"Ouch!" Tristan yelled in pain as Bakura fell onto him, "My spleen!"

Then they all laughed together.

"What's so funny?" queried Mai, who magically appeared before them.

"Oh, hi, Mai," Yugi greeted in his usual friendly nature, "Bakura fell out of that tree and landed on Tristan and crushed his spleen."

"How cute," Mai commented and she dumped a bunch of food from her knapsack onto the ground, "Dig in, dorks!"

With only a campfire, a sharp stick, and a chef hat folded out of a newspaper, Joey managed to turn the cheap and expired snack items into a fancy and beyond decent meal that could've been created by world-class gourmets. The others, especially Mai, were really impressed with his talent in cooking.

"Awesome!" said Yugi.

"Real good!" Tristan agreed.

"Four friendships!" exclaimed Tea.

"Jolly good stuff, ol' chap!" relayed Bakura a little overenthusiastically and everyone else scooted away from him, "These are the best potato chip crumpets I've ever tasted!"

"Right…" Mai began," Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go air myself out and rid the stench of you losers."

At that, Mai walked off and eventually found herself at the edge of a cliff with the ocean roaring below.

"Why did I even bother eating with those losers?" Mai questioned herself, "They seem to be very nice losers. Perhaps they could be my friends. We could have tea and cookies, have sleepovers, organize bake sales, and save the world from alien invaders." She shook her head to rid of her fantasies, "No! I can't afford to turn soft again. Last time I actually turned into a marshmallow and it cost me a fortune for my plastic surgeon to fix me."

The bleached blonde sighed, "No friends for me."

Suddenly, a big scary shadow popped up behind Mai.

Back at the campsite, Joey and Tristan were wrestling each other's sock puppets. Tristan's sock puppet had Joey's sock puppet in a head lock. Yugi and Tea were sitting on a log with popcorn, nachos, and sodas beside them, cheering them on. The sock puppet match was interrupted when they heard Mai scream.

"What was friendship?!" Tea gasped.

"I don't know, but we'll face it together." Yugi declared and he ran off with his friends following.

Of course, the sock puppets were left behind.

"So you want to wreck up the place then buy fake passports to Mexico?" Joey's sock puppet asked Tristan's sock puppet.

"You bet!" Tristan's sock puppet replied excitedly, "Fish tacos, here we come!"


End file.
